I don't understand.
Y'all asked what happen, what's going on.
I described, I explained.
& all end up with me being labelled as "you're complaining"
Coming from the 2 of you..
& I actually realized I was so strung up on work, nth else was in my head. For days. A slight relief perhaps. Distraction.
We both wants to talk to each other.
But...
It's been hell of a week.
That forced me into thinking of a job change. Idk if it means that I'm escaping, or that I'm not strong enough.
But the stress has doubled up,
The body is very drained.
The mind is very fucked.
No, it's not just about what happened for the last one week.
No, I'm not asking for an easier 8-5 job that only requires me to count down time to end work.
No, I wouldn't do that. It's meaningless.
Enough of work now.
No more talking about it during weekends.
______
Deep down, IT still aches.
after so long too many tries,
after so long so many chances,
after so long so much salvaging.
Words are cheap,
I truly understand now.
It's not easy.
To shut down those emotions.
After all, it took me long to open up finally.
I thought we could be more. Much more.
Now I'm hurting all over again.
I admit.
I wish you would insist you'll stay & make things better as I shut you off & push you away.
I wish you were here, be beside me these few days. You don't hafta say any life theories, or anything. Just staying beside me would have been great. Im glad you called after that text though. But...
By nature, humans are all selfish.
But it's a person's character that determines if he/she would wanna be selfish or not. Life is full of choices.
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