ok, maybe ill be fine/better if ..

someone get me damon salvatore (Ian Somerhalder)?

no more stephan salvatore (paul wesley).

Hot, tall & big.

mersmerizing eyes and a bad boy.

yet soft to his love ones.

awww.

ok, damm vampires diaries.

shouldnt even start it.

thanks arh Jianhui.

but seriously i ...

late nights & cold winds do me no good.

i just ...

Deep down, its a weird feeling that irks me every second.
its like that nightmare i always have since young.
yes ! that awful feeling that i always end up crying in bed.
its like so empty deep down, i cant even feel my stomach, lungs or heart literally.













didnt think i could feel like this again.
baffled.
taunted.
distorted.
dessicating.

some fave tweets;

You cant avoid gossips & bad words from others.
Forget the haters.
Remember: “They wouldn’t bother if you were nothing


Never let the sadness of your past, and the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present


3 solutions to every problem: Accept it, Change it, Leave it.
If u cant accept it, change it.
If u cant change it, leave it


When you judge someone else, it doesn't define who they are...
it defines who YOU are


Let's play Truth or Dare. Or just play the Dare.
because in reality, nobody seems to know how to tell the truth anymore

It's better to have nobody than to have somebody who is half there, half yours or doesn't want to be there

The key to forgiveness is not to forgive the other person.
it's to clean you of hate, so you can go on with life

#Fav2010tweet If u fight like a married couple, talk like BFFs, flirt like first love, protect each other like bro & sis, it is meant to be.

Keep praying, it'll come true.
It may not be in the exact package you wanted but it'll be what God thinks is BEST for you

Expect nothing, to avoid disappointment
& so everything giving to you will come as a pleasant surprise.

You shouldn't sacrifice who are you just because somebody else has a problem with it




When a #Pisces is heartbroken is like having broken ribs...
On the outside, it looks like nothing’s wrong,
but every breath hurts.


Sometimes #Pisces put walls up not to keep people out,
but to see who cares enough to break them down.


#WeirdConfession #Pisces think about some of the craziest stuff
and if giving the opportunity will try it at the drop of the hat!!! (HAHA!)


The #Pisces woman is a mystery,
she floats and drifts from one place to another,
leaving an unforgettable impression on whose they contact


#Pisces Believe in "Riding till the Wheels fall off" thats their way of get closure!!!

A #Pisces would rather be with someone who's emotionally honest than a person who pretends that everything's ok when deep down it's not



#Pisces find it hard to say No, particularly to the ones they love, they are believers in second chances
 
A #Pisces woman want to see a hero image in her partner. she needs to get that secure feeling!

if a #Pisces smells deception, or don't think it is sincere.. forget it!
#Pisces hate Mind Games.

The Saturdays - Higher

if i get thinner in 2011, i will get frankie's hair.
she's HOT. bloody hell.



thinner ftw !

watch me stand and burn.

if you dont talk, no one will understand or knows.
likewise, i wont know.


& ya da ya da ya da, period.








3 more days to 2011.
come a brand new me. for me.
been living for others.
pathetic.



maybe i should make a hugeee change.
must i?
can i ?
should i?





ahh, the same old me again.
*Faints*

I do.

Do you ever feel,
like a plastic bag drifting through the wind
wanting to start again.


Do you ever feel,
feel so paper thin.
Like a house of cards, 1 blow from caving in.




Do you ever feel already buried deep.
Six feet under, screams but no one seems to hear a thing.





Dang!

Bruno Mars - Grenade [Official Music Video]

easy come, easy go.
thats just how you live ~

Reality.

Many a times, I tend to analyza or over analyze things.
& most of the times, my hunches are Always corect.


Reality as many say, full of cruelty deceptions and many evil stuffs.
The happy moments don't stay.
That's what I heard, learned and went through.



If you wanna do something, do it.
It's to protect yourself. Against others.
against anything you thought have a happy storyline.
& happy storyline only happens in dreams and drama.







If you can't do/won't do anything anything to it,
I'll do something to it.
& so they say;
when a Pisces made up their mind, it's no gg baq.





Don't look at it like I'm so into horoscope.
I'm just totally being myself.
I'm drop dead tired & sick of all this drama.
& I'm soft enough to think that thins would change.
Nope, it doesn't.
At least for months that has past.


"you can choose to do something to ot, or not.
& it's either you do something o you just suck it up and move on."
I still rem.

i cant always keep making sure that everyone's needs of happiness,
and all sorts of happy stuffs is fulfiled,
and all sorts of damm stuff is away.
and every problems will be solved.
and any spare tyres needed would be me.
or being the bad guy in any situation.




who will make sure that i'll get my needs and dose of happiness then ?
F.Y.I; no one.






comeon, am i superwoman to the rescue ?
dont !
dont take advantage of my soft nature.
dont take advantage of my kindness.
dont take advantage of my help.




its irks! ok !

like to be alone but dont like to be alone.

contradict much ?



sometimes, its too much to digest in.

Bakies - Brownies

while waiting. she just shot and shot and shot xD

till i pek chek. kidding much (:

very toussled hair. i finally got it right ! yesh!

the man who's of no help at all.

ok, he did help to run us an errand.

only.

HAHA!

with his food.

& anime, we're pretty much invisible to him.

tadah: sprinkles for the xmas-y feel.



whats nexts ?

cupcakes with ICINGS pls (:

all hail the bad stomach and numb tongue.

great,

xmas sucks this year.

xmas eve gave me a bad stomach & a numb tongue.

speaking of which, idk what happen to my tongue.

fcuking gao wek. its an awful feeling T.T

& i hafta cancel plans which ive made.

C**

& that was a nice way to end xmas day.

very nice.

told you, mel.

you jinxed all your festive seasons.

WITHOUT FAIL.

fcuk!

im not gonna celebrate, or even try to celebrate anything anymore.

dammit.

my day at work was so scuky enough:

i nearly dozed off.

i came out with 3 random words.

& blah blah blah pissed me off.

you want respect ? earn it dude !
fyi, youre not in the very good book of ours.
we're not expecting you to be damm good. really.
just show it to us that youre worth it, worth th respect and all.

followed by dinner plans:

1 MIA, 2 stomache down.

1 just text and disappointed cause he felt like i tua him.

followed by packinf din:

 NO GRASS JELLY at KOI!

i was so angry that i nearly ask the cashier what fcuk is he mumbling.

no grass jelly say no grass jelly.

dont tell me no more big cup's/

cause that sounds like there only grass jelly available for small cup dumb !

followed by when i got home:

the cold weather  only spoil mood further.

hate how cold it gets and when i wanna pull a jacket over, its uber hot !

& then

...

whatever!

festive season is just not for me.

yeap. proof-ed.

dammm!

I'm so lethargic.
Till I wrote "lethal" "candy" & "good" on my samples labels,
I seriously have no idea how those 3 words came about.
& I wonder what's with my subconsious mind.
That's 3 words for now.
I wonder what more would come out next.



Gosh. Drop dead tired.
2 3 x coffee alr lei.
So dead.



Been runnin toilet.
Thanks to my gastronomical appetite ytd.
Need more fluid now!
Koi?
Hmm.



But the koi theory /:

fireworks & parachute

why did i miss out ont the girls' last day at work /:
why did i do 24 that day !
wrong move.
damm.





anw, xmas eve was nice this year.
just hope xmas would be nice.
after work of cause -.-










i dont care if there's pressie underneathe the xmas tree.
i dont care if i would hafta work on xmas itself.
i just wish ...

Won't tell anyone,

Don't believe the things you tell yourself so late at night.
You're your own worst enemy,
you'll never win the fight.





Get this in.

Michael Buble || Sway

here's to xmas.
all time fave by michael buble.

Miranda Cosgrove - Kissin U (with lyrics)

Mike Posner - Please Don't Go

Upon the stars lining the sky,

the misltetoes on xmas trees.

I made a wish.

Agressiveness & Dominance.

Ah, the caffaine effect is acting up again.
Just earlier than I expected.
And the body temp isn't at it's optimum.
Ho sei Liao!




I'm coming home, I'm coming home.
To a place where I belong.
Let the rain wash away the pain of ytd.
In coming home I'm coming home.
Haha, could hadly Forget bout the inside joke of this song.

Try talking to someone and they dont get it,
& they insist they are right.
& thn after that they goes "oh! This one huh?"
Try that & tell me how would you feel.



Kns.
Whole morning is a like a rush and I'm so cranky alr.
Still wanna make me like I'm stupid.
Thanks eh!



If you wanna fyl,
don't come and fml.
Roarrrrr!!!!!

Hi, Im Melisa Cullen Salvatore.

2x coffee = 2 x panadol extra = the ultimate head throb.
what else can be a better substitue for caffaine ?
no, no soft drinks.






busy times are back.
when was the last time i did 24 ?
6 mnths ago i guess.






festive seasons & lab equipments went on hiatus alr.
LOL!
blooody hell.


















im home early.
but i must resist vampires diaries tonight.
or ill really look like vampire (the zombie type) the next following days.
but i miss stephan salvatore.
mel, contain yourself mel.










Je me suis amusé. vous avez?

high on Vampires Diaries.
i lost count of time.
tml is so not gonna be a good day i predict



damm.
shit !

ah, watching vampire dairies makes me wanna keep a dairy.
own and write one.
haha!



Stefan Salvatore (paul wesley.)
awwww.
daydream *smacks head*

on this saturday night, im feeling so damm.

 pls koi, pls.

do your magic.

why do i not feel better working after drinking you ?!

roarrrr !

prolly cause its not the same drinking alone.
prolly its the enviroment, the cold cold weather.


*edited* a housefly just flew into my drink.
& went into my mouth.
puked.

 forget to add some hair. haha!

7 1/2 hrs to go.

there nth for me to do !

nth much.

booohooo.

im hungry /':

Frank Sinatra is totally playing up the festive season mood.
The cold cold wind/aircon just adds up to the Xmas feel.



But I'm still not in the Xmas moood.
Not looking forward to it.
Like so what, it's only Xmas kinda mood.
I think I'm aging in the mind.
I no longer look forward to any festive seasons.
Not even cny.
Let alone the big thing in march.


Just wanna comatose.
Cause I know, it's just gonna be another day.
Nothing special.
I'm not special anw.
Wake me up when march ends kinda feel.




Shit,
I just Kena owned by frank sinatra.
*points finger gun at head* bangs!

Cheryl Cole - Parachute

& this's gonna stay on my playlist for sometime.

倪安東 - Sorry That I Loved You (HQ官方版MV)

he's good!
i had goosebumps watching all his videos.
his emotions throughout, is power.
& he's cute.
awww, awesome voice for an ABC.

Don't make a person fall,
if you didn't plan on catching them
when they fall.






Saturation.

Enrique Iglesias ft. Nicole Scherzinger - Heartbeat (Paul O'Grady Show -...

sensual.

Going downhill.

I was happy today.
Learned new test and I carried it out within time.
Everything was good.



Till now.
Dammit.
Been doing trail&error for 45mins.
No avail.





Jessieeeeeeeeee!
Don't slppppp!!!!
Awww man!







Worst night ever.

It's a brand new yr(soon to be).
A brand new start for me from now on.


I'll be good. I hope.
or will I not?
Hmmmmmmm.

i thought it was easy.

ah, its not easy to watch HK drama.
try watching the show, listening cantonese and trying to read the chinese subtitles.
i dont even recognise some of the subtitles ,
cause its not in simple chinese.




they can talk so fast in cantonese la, im amaze.
to the extent, im having headache now.
great.
maybe it isnt a good idea to watch the drama.
dumb.

a part of me says: "yay ! no OT, can go home early.
another part of me says: "ho sei liao, like that go on, next month eat grass liao la!"


contradictions.
life's is full of contradictions.
but seriously, how am i able to clock at least 70 hrs over the next 2 1/2 weeks.
(oh! i just realised xmas is next week. the whole pantry laughed at me -.-)
not that ive never been there done that.
but its impossible this month.
its CNY next month lei ! gosh.
great.









interesting news of the day:
"North Korea warned on Monday that US-South Korean cooperation could bring a nuclear war to the region".
http://www.straitstimes.com/BreakingNews/Asia/Story/STIStory_613350.html

ok, i wouldnt say interesting.
just that im speechless.
comeon, if you didnt target or hit their civillian areas, things wouldnt come to this stage alr eh ?
intentionally or not, no one knows.


i dont understand why would they even wanna target the cv areas.
innocent lives.
now the nuclear war.
so more innocents are gonna sacrifice their lifes for you to hao lian youve got nuclear plants.
like the nuclear effects wont affect the N.Korea side.
crap.



communist *shake head*
what era alr ?!












digress a lil,
note to self: must rem to pay handphone bills, MUST -.-

Camomile essence oil is not a good idea afterall.
My room stinks !






Fireworks fireworks fireworks.

its 2350 now.
im freaking hungry !



i remembered i had din just now.
gosh.
but the serving was small la.
ok, thats to make myself feel better -.-/







macs ?
>< but bros not at home.
mac delivery = me + my bro.
senseless, fine.






maybe i should slp ?
aww, cant slp.










ok, dammit.

Steamboat at NTU'S Students hostel (:

vegetarian to start off. HAHA!

ha, there's always koi for me. LOL!

 TAMS (:

din at ChompChomp.

ah, tao huey from this stall as always.

bandung tao huey is still the best !

leave checked.

bali checked.

looking forward to my form of relaxation.

the sun, the beer and the C.

everytime i came baq from BKK, i always have a aggggrh feeling when i go out.

like nth ever catched my eyes anymore,

everything seems so not worth.

and i regret not buying this & that from BKK.

dammmm!

should have gotten those lomo cameras back there in BKK.

went tangs today, the lomos there are like seriously overpriced.

ok, lets just say singapore-priced.

& lomo is like my love.

shit you (er, idk who lei)

shit me

shit everyone !

ROARRRRRR

J.R.A. - By Chance (You & I) (ORIGINAL)

awww. super sweeeet.
melts me !


You & I
could be like
sonny & cher
honey & bear
You & I
could be like
aladdin & jasmine
lets make it happen



seriously melting in progress.

Girls. Nth but headaches.

I'm just gonna stop pmsing.
& look forward to steamboat on fri with the cute ppl.
& shopping on sat.
& meeting the ultimates afterwhich.



Yeap, I'm gonna do that.
No pmsing.
No shits.
I can handle anything and everything on my own.
Because I'm Mel.
Roarrrrrrr!






& to make it happen?
warm bath, mask, cuddle ah fat and some sugar rush.
Fingers crossed that it'll work.





If not I should start using whispers.
"go girl, have a happy period!"

HAHA!

estacy.

Rihanna - Hate That I Love You ft. Ne-Yo

classic.
hot combination.
& rihanna was hotter back then.



That's how much I love you

That's how much I need you
And I can't stand you
Must everything you do make me wanna smile
Can I not like you for awhile?


But you won't let me
You upset me girl
And then you kiss my lips
All of a sudden I forget that i was upset
Can't remember what you did

But I hate it...
You know exactly what to do
So that I can't stay mad at you
For too long that's wrong


But I hate it...
You know exactly how to touch
So that I don't want to fuss.. and fight no more
Said I despise that I adore you


and I hate how much I love you boy
I can't stand how much I need you 
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just can't let you go
And I hate that I love you so
You completely know the power that you have
The only one makes me laugh
Said it's not fair
How you take advantage of the fact
That I love you beyond the reason why
And it just ain't right


And I hate how much I love you girl
I can't stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you girl
But I just can't let you go
But I hate that I love you so


One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me
And your kiss won't make me weak
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me
So you'll probably always have a spell on me...

Yeah... Oh..
That's how much I love you 
That's how much I need you
That's how much I love you
As much as I need you

And I hate that I love you so
And I hate how much I love you boy
I can't stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just can't let you go
And I hate that I love you so
And I hate that I love you so.. so...

need koi.
want koi.
love koi.
miss koi.



must stop.
*1..2..3..* nope, i tried.



going bonkers.

If I walk would you run

If I stop would you come

If I say you’re the one would you believe me

I WANT !

love, bontio suede wedges (black) - size 41

the wedges on the left !

i want i want i want!
i cant find i cant find i cant find!
any kind souls ?



BKK do sells them but at like S$30 and above ?
daylight robbery.
sigh.
anyone know or saw it somewhere ?
telll meeeeeee.

you can do me a favour,

& so, my dead blog does have ppl reading it all this time.
good, cause whoever came by should click the nuffnang ad by the side >>




would be very much appreciated and glad and smiley (:
puppy eyes much **

Pedicure @Xueling's,

Friend's sis, Pretty mum of 2 (: 

she sure can multi task. she was on the phone. LOL!

she's good i must say.

to the extent that ever since ive let her do my nails.

every manicurist i went to, just cui ttm !

i only trust her with my nails.

& only let her touch my nails.

yup, that good (:

 CHARRED LIPS T.T

& tha rain just wouldnt stop. at all !

i was stranded in her shop like an hr or 2 ?

before i decided to ran in the rain to bus stop.

-.-

the world behind,

somedays, i really have no idea what im doing.
& what i wanna achieve outta it.
& what i want at all.




jeez. ive made many mistakes.
in fact, i pretty much screwed my life of 20 yrs.
i pushed ppl away from me, all the time.
directly or indirectly.
doesnt matter if its friends, families or lover.
its a habit.









you were and are good.
i wasnt.
im sorry.
you deserve and will only find a better one.
wayyyyy better, im sure.









i think believe,
i suck.
i am.

I Wish,

i could stay in BKK forever.
wakeup, eat, shop, eat, massage, slp.
& let the cycle goes on and on forever.



I finally get to feel so tired before 12am.
finally.
& it has been for days.
good for insomniac like me.













well, humans get tired after awhile anw.