Cold nights thoughts

Whose the person whom you'll think of when things goes downhill?


Whose the person that gives you the comfort you need just by being there beside you when you needed it?


Whose the person whom you'll always run to when things happen, be it good or bad?



Whose the person you miss the most every now & then, through lil details in life, through places you've gone to, through images that flashes by, through thoughts that lingers as always?






Here I am,
Seeking warmth. That warms the heart. Seeking comfort. That comforts
the soul.


None can measure up. Yet
None fits the bill. Yet




Maybe I should open up.
Yet more options are unneccessary now.

















Heart's colder than the air up here.








____




We're just using each other for company. Temporary company.

Less than 2yrs, I'm going outta shift.
To check results, Lias with customers & learning to diagnose results in a whiles time.



3yrs faster than what I've aimed.
With a lil bit of luck. Jane tendered ):




Moving on to a (almost)new environment. New systems. New stress. New challenges. New expectations.





I've never like to be a disappointment.
I've never like to be look down on.





Things may get roughed.
Melly, hang on to your faith.
I can do it.

I'm not sure how am I supposed to be feeling right now. Should I be happy? Or what?! I'm very curious about that, about how should I be feeling that I'm thinking about this question for a while now. *smackheadimveryrandom*





I used to "ran" home to someone and talked like a fascinated kid & smile like a fool.





Well, idk. I did talk to bestiesss.
So great to have them in lab and whatsapp. But it don't feel.. Right.





Pretty much outta place.






It's just so amusing.
How the right words always comes out from the wrong ppl. & how the right pll always says the wrong words.

Or how we always fail to say what need to be say. In a bid to not look/sound silly, we twist the words, mellow the tone. & In the end, the meaning got lost in the twist&turns & the whole point of it is defeated.


How the right thing always seems so wrong & the wrong thing seems so right.






The 1st person you'll go to whenever something happens, good or bad. You just wanna tell him/her whatever happens & so on. Get the drift? That feeling? Yes! That's what I'm trying to say, trying to feel.







Why must I always make such Simple things sounds like I'm desperate. Fuck this, I seriously don't need a man now anw. I can do things on my own, hell yeah! So what if I can't have someone whom I can cuddle with and fall aslp. No big deal! So what do what so what!



Now I'm getting all worked up. Wth.

22nd;