Been a while since I last broke down.
The last time was about ... My mum.
Realizing and admitting to being weak without her ard the impt years of my life & forever. Admiting to the fact that she abandon us & how hard it was since then to be the only girl in the house & no one to guide me. Everything in life was trial & error. T'was diff cause it ended with a comfort hug & a simple sentence: "if she didn't left you, you wouldn't be the melisa I know today & I wouldn't have met you. Prolly some spoilt bitch who is very protected by her parents"
This time however, it dawned onto me how vulnerable I have become. I thought I was strong & independent enough since the last breaking point. Surely, I wasn't.
I've been finding explanations for my behavior all day. Damm sure it isn't pms. Was it a sentence or a word that triggers what was hidden underneathe? Hidden to the extent I didnt know it still exist in me ?
I thought I was strong.
I thought I was good. I know I'm not that bad.
Enough to be on my own, to survive on my own.
Clearly, I am not.
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