WHATEVER ! THIS IS ME !: December 2011

December 27, 2011

Not a girl, not yet a woman

Been a while since I last broke down.

The last time was about ... My mum.

Realizing and admitting to being weak without her ard the impt years of my life & forever. Admiting to the fact that she abandon us & how hard it was since then to be the only girl in the house & no one to guide me. Everything in life was trial & error. T'was diff cause it ended with a comfort hug & a simple sentence: "if she didn't left you, you wouldn't be the melisa I know today & I wouldn't have met you. Prolly some spoilt bitch who is very protected by her parents"

This time however, it dawned onto me how vulnerable I have become. I thought I was strong & independent enough since the last breaking point. Surely, I wasn't.

I've been finding explanations for my behavior all day. Damm sure it isn't pms. Was it a sentence or a word that triggers what was hidden underneathe? Hidden to the extent I didnt know it still exist in me ?

I thought I was strong.
I thought I was good. I know I'm not that bad.
Enough to be on my own, to survive on my own.
Clearly, I am not.

December 26, 2011

Gym Class Heroes: Ass Back Home ft. Neon Hitch [OFFICIAL VIDEO]

gym class heros never fails.

best relate-able over time~
love songs that i can relate,
& i love this to bitsssssss.

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh,

for one more chance to hold you close ~

nothing in life that is worth it is gonna be easy.
some will drained you physically,
some, mentally.

you will never know the outcome.
but that doesnt mean you dont try.

youre started with nothing at all.
& if you were to try, give your full shot.
there will always be only 2 outcomes;
1)you emerge with victory & end up with something(whatever that youre fighting for)
2)you learnt a precious lesson & goes back to where you came from: nothing.

you see.. at the end of the day,
youve got nothing to lose actually.

just make sure you give you all when you fight for something.
if you dont give your all, you cant expect everything to be given to you.
& if not, dont bother fighting for it.

_____________

"Having the ability to walk away from a bad situation,
with a smile on your face and a forgiveness in your heart is a true Ladylike"

but how far can you walk away,
how long can you smile
& for how long more can you forgive ?