January 27, 2011

Insanity is the new sane.

need an organiser real bad !


im practically losing track of time, things planned and to-do.
somedays, i thought today was the date before.
somedays, i thought today is the day after.
somedays, i dont rem what plans have i got the next few days.
(worst still, what so i hafta do tml)
somedays, i dont rem what i hafta do next.
(when a min ago, i was telling myself "next, will do this.')
somedays, i plan things over plans. (crashing up plans)




this bad. real bad.
ive aged tremendously. mentally.
too much adrenaline rush at work?
haha! we could all hardly rem whats is not busy.





note to self: take things slower, think a lil slow.
but then again,
i'll be damm disappointed with myself if i dont complete what i want in a given time i gave myself.


just recently, i worked non stop for 4 hrs (no break in between).
i refuse to even sit down, rest for awhile or whatever.
cause i thought that i could complete at least something.
& YET I STILL DINT MANAGE TO COMPLETE ANYTHING!!

- slot icp,
- slot tan/tbn,
- check qc
- weigh tan/tbn,
- do vis,
- wash beakers,
- prepare titrant.
- copy results.

apparently, they left me with no titrant when they went home.
great, and the solvents needed hafta take from store.
& my precious icp start to give me probems over problems.
HA! good timing!





walk here walk there.
hardcore exercising of the arms and legs.
and the end of the day?
nth was completed fully, all half half.
& i was so worn out, i could hardly stay focus in any conversation.
i felt so bad, so guilty /:




& many times, i feel like breaking down @ handover.
cause i failed myself, my expectations.
i know im not superwoman.
i know human cannot complete so many tasks in such timing.
i know even if i dont smoke, dont eat & dont rest,
the end product will still be un-finish work.


so much for being a perfectionist eh ?




someone once told me: "no expectations = no disappointments"
BUT !!! how to have no expectations for myself ?!?!
i cant do that.
failed terribly.




*dear blog, i just wanna whine.
cause there's no one would wanna hear me whine. im sorry bloggy*





& so explain the title of this post.
we figured few nights ago: if youre not insane, that means youre not working.
hahahaha!
crashing crashing crashed.
mr fat, im coming !

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